See, journal, this is what I'm talking about. The goals are there and the plan is made, but now it's game time and I'm choking. This is where things fall apart for me…when it's time to take action. I made all these beautiful plans last week about how I was gonna write every night, hit the gym regularly, and watch my diet; but what have I done about it? Nothing. I haven't worked out once this week-deciding to sleep in before work and go home right after. I've written not one word so far this week (besides what I'm writing now)-preferring to watch TV or putz around when I get home. And I've been eating whatever the hell I want-burgers, fries, donuts, bread. It's disgusting.
Where's the discipline, Will? Where's the sacrifice? That's my trouble. I know what I want, but I'm not willing to do the work to get it done…because work is not fun.
I used to be disciplined. Not the most disciplined person in the world, but definitely disciplined enough to be able to look at my life and say "I'm good." Nowadays I look around and there's nothing but complaining, waiting for someone to step in and help/make it happen for me, and wishing upon a star that I was "there" already. We both know, journal, that that's not gonna work. I'll be sitting around waiting and wishing forever.
I've got to re-teach myself how to be disciplined. I've got to break out of the habits of my daily routine and sacrifice all that unnecessary shit that seems more entertaining or enjoyable. I've got to stop allowing any fear of not being good enough or not knowing what I'm doing to get in the way of me actually being productive. Experiement, Will. Make it up as you go along. Damn!
"You've gotta do what you have to do, in order to do what you want to do."
~Denzel Washington
Point. Blank. Period. And there's A WHOLE LOT that I have to do!
I really need to stop there, journal. Cuz I can feel my fingers itching to type a diatribe of excuses and reasons why this is so hard…further prolonging any amount of productivity or, even, a breakthrough. A good friend of mine today mentioned that the reason I haven't seen much of him lately is because he's been grinding. Take a page from his book, dude, and get on your grind. Stop complaining, stop looking around at what others are doing, stop waiting for someone or something to step into your life and fix things/make things happen, and just GET TO WORK. Either that or just shut up all together and stay forever searching…forever unhappy. Your choice, Will.
